Like a drug.

irresistiblethoughts

Like a drug, bitterness seeps into my bones like your love once had.
Your name is like a chant in my head, all day, but still when I hear someone say it, poison spews in my body and bile rises to my throat.
For every promise of love that you ever made to me, there is a promise of hate I have made to myself.
Every place where there was once your love, I have filled it with twice as much hate.
You have consumed me, once because of love, and now, because of hate.

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I will wait :’)

I will wait for you love ,  till I feel it’s true

I won’t be the toy that can come and screw.

My time my feelings , are not up for sale

I am happy single , I don’t want your jail.

I know the drama , I know the games they play

I am a hard brick now , not that old soft clay. :’)

Love like that.

And when you are really in love , my friend

“Her scarred skin will glow in perfection , her running nose would be the cutest red thing ever , her messy hair will feel like silky strands tangled in your fingers , and that little extra weight under her skin will make you to hug her tighter but then you really need to love her.” ,my friend.

One day!

One day I will find , stars in the skies ,

There will be no Scars , no sweet sugar lies .

One day my luck will sing me a happy song ,

I will smile whole day , and at night sleep long .

One day my friend I will travel the World ,

I am living in a Cage , but i will be a free Bird.

You.

“I fell in love with you.With the way you smile,

With how you smell. I can’t think of one thing about you that I’m not in love with.

To me you are perfect ,your “flaws” aren’t flaws because I adore them all.

I am in love with you,with every single piece of you.”

 

 

Like a drug.

Like a drug, bitterness seeps into my bones like your love once had.
Your name is like a chant in my head, all day, but still when I hear someone say it, poison spews in my body and bile rises to my throat.
For every promise of love that you ever made to me, there is a promise of hate I have made to myself.
Every place where there was once your love, I have filled it with twice as much hate.
You have consumed me, once because of love, and now, because of hate.

And then it wasn’t……

It was love.
A beautiful, full kind of love.
The kind of love that you read about in books.
A love that fills you to the brim so that you can no longer feel empty.
A love that makes you forget everything bad.
A love that takes your breath away.
The type of love that we had.

Then it wasn’t.
Then it was tears and blood and sorrow.
The kind of tears that makes you feel completely empty.
A deep red blood that can’t be covered by a bandage.

You were love! ❤️

In moments of pain, where your every dream breaks, situations turn worse, heart shatters with every breath, and tears flow endlessly, while you are typing ‘I am good’ or ‘I am happy for you’ , it hurts. It hurts too much.
Finally when you lay aside the phone, sobs escape your mouth. You try to be quiet while all you want is to shout out to the world how unfair it is to let this happen to you.
You pray for sleep to envelop you, as tears don’t seem to stop. As you keep replaying memories which sting your heart more and more, tears flow and in a while, you are in a cocoon of sleep.
As the next morning comes, you think, “Shit! Why did I cry? I should be strong. It is not a big deal to get your heart broken, and not that bad to have dreams and hopes crumble. I cannot be weak. I am strong. Be happy facade. Yeah! ”
And there you are! Smiling.
Again!
You proudly caress scar on the warrior’s body as no pain can defeat you.
This is why you believe in the comfort loneliness brings, because then these heartbreaks don’t leave you weak and begging for attention.
You are strong. You are brave . You are amazing. You are full of love ,still.

❤️

She could sense his grip loosening and gradually, he let go of her hand. Her stomach churned as she looked down at her abandoned hand. She was afraid of losing him; though she never really had him.
She took a quick glance at his expressionless face, and inhaled deeply. Her pursed lips, attention demanding eyes, devoid of their shine, clearly depicted her despair. Perhaps he was unable to confer.
They wandered;
Silence engulfed the aura. They wanted to speak out, nevertheless none of them could muster enough words. They shared a blank look, and in no time he turned away indifferently.
Apparently, he deprecated their persistent attachment.She had just been left by someone, who she thought would stay beside her forever. She was afraid of loving again. Besides, she was uncertain if she could ever love again. She was special; she had always been by his side, even during the worst phases of his life. Hurting her would have been the last sin he’d want to commit.
“I don’t want you to fall in love with a person like me,” he said.
“I won’t. Why do you worry?”
“Because, I care.”
“Why do you have to care for everyone?”
“Not everyone, just you.”
“Why do you care for me?” she asked.
He certainly had no answer to that.
They strolled for an hour more, yet none of them could initiate another session of talk.
She was trying hard to resist herself since she knew he would never love her, the way she craved. Thus, she struggled to suppress what she actually felt. Meanwhile, he wondered if it’d be alright to move away from the nightmares of his sombre past, and be with the girl of his dreams; he could see her right in front of his eyes with a glint of love in her brooding eyes.
They were two blemished beings, trying to escape the clutter. Their respective souls were like different poles of a magnet, forever apart, yet always yearning for each other.
Beyond the ideals of reality, somehow, they were beginning to fall in love, if not drown.